A reflection tool · Dr Alla Demutska
Where Am I in My Midlife Transition?
A four-part reflection tool for women in the second half of life. Seventeen questions, around five minutes. The result is a clearer read of where you actually are - across identity, meaning, the phase of transition you are in, and your relational world. It is not a diagnosis.
Please note. This is a reflection tool designed by Dr Alla Demutska, Clinical Psychologist, drawing on the established literature on midlife and individuation (Hollis, Bridges, Levinson, Feiler, Pipher, Blackie, Jung, Erikson). It is not a validated clinical assessment, and it is not intended to diagnose or replace clinical care. It can offer a useful starting point for deeper reflection. For symptom-focused assessment of perimenopausal cognitive, physical, and mood symptoms, please use one of the validated tools linked on the
Free Resources page.
The quiz looks at the four areas where midlife change tends to show itself. Identity: whether the roles and labels you have lived by still feel like you. Meaning and purpose: whether what fills your days still answers the question of what it is all for. Phase of transition: where you are in the arc of change - before it, inside it, or coming out the other side. Relational: how the change is moving through your friendships and closest relationships. A midlife transition rarely arrives in all four at once. Seeing which areas are moving, and how strongly, shows you where your attention is most needed.
Each of the four dimensions is scored separately. The result is a profile that combines them into one of several recognisable patterns: which kind of transition you are in, not just whether you are in one.
Answer with what is true now, not with what you would like to be true. The point is contact with what is actually happening.
Your profile is below. The email copy could not be sent just now, so do have a read here while you have it open.
One thing before you read your profile. You agreed that things which used to satisfy you no longer do, even when they go well. That is one of the clearest markers of this passage, and your profile below speaks to it.
One check first, because this quiz cannot make it for you. If it is not only the things you achieved but most things, most days, and it has been that way for two weeks or more, take it to your GP or a therapist rather than filing it under transition. You do not have to be in crisis to make that appointment.
How each dimension scored
One boundary, before anything else. This tool reads for transition. It does not screen for depression or anxiety. If your mood has been low for weeks, if hope is thin, or if these questions touched something heavier than reflection, take that to a GP or a therapist rather than a quiz. If you are in crisis now: Singapore SOS 1767, Australia Lifeline 13 11 14, findahelpline.com anywhere else.
If your profile points to something that needs closer attention, these are the places to take it.
Drawing on: Hollis, J. (1993) The Middle Passage; Hollis, J. (2005) Finding Meaning in the Second Half of Life; Bridges, W. (1980) Transitions: Making Sense of Life's Changes; Levinson, D. (1996) The Seasons of a Woman's Life; Feiler, B. (2020) Life Is in the Transitions; Pipher, M. (2019) Women Rowing North; Blackie, S. (2022) Hagitude; Hagerty, B. (2016) Life Reimagined; Erikson, E. (1982) The Life Cycle Completed; Jung, C.G., on individuation in the second half of life.