How much we resist pain determines the amount we suffer. For example, not long ago I fractured my knee.
I created a lot of drama, worry, and “doom and gloom” scenarios about my inability to stick to my normal routines, on which I rely heavily for my mental and physical health, making the whole experience much worse for the first couple of days. When I stopped resisting, all I was left with was physical pain and discomfort which was much more tolerable without the barrage of thoughts and fears. The same is true for our emotions. If I hate my anger or sadness instead of allowing it to be there and accepting it as part of being human, I bring more disturbance to my internal world. Dropping resistance and accepting discomfort and pain helps us to move away from suffering. Mindful acknowledgement of our painful experiences, without judgement or struggle, gives us the opportunity to stay open to this experience instead of shutting down, and creates space within us to breathe and accept these experiences. Your painful experience is there already – whether you want it or not – and you can’t get rid of it by pushing it away.
I am not saying that acceptance is easy and natural for us. Often what we are required to do is the opposite of what we have been trying to do unsuccessfully. Getting rid of or avoiding something unpleasant often works in the external world – we can avoid a person we don’t like or food we do not fancy. However, this doesn’t work within our internal world. You might need support and guidance to learn how to accept and proceed at your own pace.
