The voice in your head, and how to change it.
Enrol · US$197If any of these are the voice in your head, you are in the right place:
Most women in midlife have a voice that has been running underneath their thinking since adolescence.
It catalogues what you have not achieved. Compares you to other women. Predicts where the next failure will come from. Scolds you for resting, for asking, for needing.
You have probably tried a lot, and much of it has helped. What it has not fully reached is the part of you that holds the critic, because that part is older than language. It does not answer to reasoning alone.
The work is not silencing it. The work is changing how you listen.
You look capable from the outside, and you are. Career, relationships, responsibilities, all held. Underneath is a voice that has never let you rest properly.
You know the voice is there. Sometimes it is loud. Sometimes it hides as plain good sense, so ordinary you barely notice it running you. Understanding it has not been the same as being free of its power.
The strategies that used to work are failing. The voice is louder because the buffer is thinner.
You are being seen more - as a leader, as a mother, as a writer, as yourself. The critic gets loudest exactly when the stakes get real.
Most of what women are handed for self-criticism is affirmation - you are strong, you are enough. It bounces straight off, because it could be said to anyone. It knows nothing about you. The critic knows everything: what you said at that dinner in 2011, every place you have fallen short. A voice that knows nothing will never win against a voice that knows everything.
The ally knows you too. That is the difference. She sees the exact material the critic keeps using against you - and she stays in your corner. She tells you the truth, and she stays warm while she tells it. She is not one figure. Women build her from the voices that were once kind to them: an old friend, a grandmother, a mentor, the woman they will one day become.
Any figure who is accurate about you and warm toward you is the ally - whatever face she wears. This is where the course moves: from a voice that polices you to one that stays with you. The critic does not disappear. The centre of gravity shifts.
Each module has a video, an audio practice, and PDF guides. For those who want more, each one also has a deeper practice that goes one layer under, and a Dive Deeper section with the research and modalities it is built on. The pacing is designed for women who want to actually do the work, not consume more content about it.
Begin here, before anything. The free guide gives you the whole picture: why the critic forms, why silencing it does not work, a two-day noticing practice, and a short guided audio. Open the free guide →
Chair-work practice built on Kellogg's Transformational Chairwork, widely used in schema therapy. You place the critic in a chair across from you and address it directly - name, origin, purpose, the voice it borrowed. When a woman sits with the critic for fifteen minutes and lets it speak, the origins announce themselves.
The clinical hinge of the course. The critic is not the enemy - it is a protector who learned very early that being critical of you first would keep you safer than being criticised by others. Naming what it is trying to do is what allows the fight to stop.
Introduction to a different internal voice. Not positive self-talk. Not affirmation. Not replacing the critic. A voice trained on accuracy and warmth that can stay with you while you are struggling.
The critic does not stop arriving. What changes is whether you follow its instructions. The practical work: choosing one situation where the critic usually wins - rest, asking, visibility, pleasure - and practising hearing it without doing what it says.
Morning practice. End-of-day practice. Micro-moments of allying with yourself instead of policing yourself. This is also where you find the standing rules you live by without noticing - I should be helpful, I should earn my rest - and break one of the smallest on purpose to find out what actually happens. The critic does not disappear. The centre of gravity shifts.
The endpoint. The critic specifically suppressed rest, eating without guilt, beauty, desire, taking up space. This module gives them back - not as bonus extras, but as the test ground where the ally either lives or stays theoretical.
A clinical psychologist with 15+ years across Australia, Singapore, and internationally, and Clinical Director of Counselling and Psychotherapy at The School of Positive Psychology in Singapore. My work centres on women in midlife, drawing on schema therapy, ACT, attachment, and polyvagal theory, among others.
Six modules. Yours for 6 months. Work at your own pace, come back to it whenever the critic gets loud.
Enrol · US$197